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Friday, September 23, 2005 

Tramp Stamp

It was suggested that I make a post concerning the tramp stamp, so here it is. I'm also going to discuss a few more female issues. By the end of this post, the reason for my perpetual bachelorhood will be crystal clear.

A tramp stamp is a tattoo on the small of a girl's back. It's usually a sun, something tribal, or a bunch of stupid jumping dolphins. The tramp stamp is normally visible when the stampee is out for a night on the town. She is usually wearing a top that doesn't come close to covering her midriff area, and it will ride up (like her thong) further if she does anything more than twitch. The tramp stamp is an important part of the college-aged bar mating ritual. It is a signal to the meathead, date rapist, PBR drinkers that the stampee is lookin' for lovin'. I'm not saying that every girl with a tattoo on her back is a tramp. But it's more likely than not that a tramp has a tattoo on her back. If you want to see a tramp stampee in her natural habitat, head down to Water St on a Friday night. There will be packs of them searching for free drinks, music to dance sluttily to, and a guy with a hemp necklace to take home for the evening.

A few more observations...

-I've seen many girls on the Marquette campus wearing shorts with words written on the ass. If you have something written on your butt, I'm probably going to read it. That means I will probably be staring at your butt for at least 30 seconds. You have no right to act offended. You have made your ass an attractive nuisance.

-The words on the shorts are usually something like "Princess" or "Angel" or something similarly innocent. The fact that you have words on your ass probably means you are neither a "Princess" nor an "Angel." You are probably someone in dire need of attention. I plan on fighting fire with fire though. I'm getting a pair of pants with the word "Gentleman" across the crotch.

-If you are a waitress at Haggerty's and you are hot and you run your hand across my back and shoulders every time you walk past me and you call me "beautiful" and you think this will get you more tips, you're right. It will. I was two beers away from signing over my savings account and stocks to you. Keep up the good work.

I love it!!! I am a woman with quite a few tattoos ... but you have no idea how many times I have thanked God that I never got a lower back tattoo!! To me it doesn't say tramp as much as it says, "I can't think for myself so I will do the same thing most of the other girls are doing ... a tattoo on my lower back ... yeah, will people will think I'm really cool then ... something tribal, yeah, that's really cool now." Too bad tribal became old hat a couple of years ago. Anyway, I love all my tattoos but can honestly say that if I had ever gotten one on my lower back, I would be making an appointment right now to go have it lasered off!! Also, I feel the same about the stupid "angel" and "princess" and "hot stuff" shorts ... give me a break. In my opinion you never see a decent looking girl wearing those ...

I never understood the whole "tribal" thing anyway. Why would you get a symbol of a tribe that you don't belong to inked into your skin? Maybe the tribe doesn't want you to join.

If I was going to get a tattoo, it would be something useful. Like the Rules of Evidence on my forearms.

Just stumbled across your blog and had an impulsive need to comment. Have had my tattoo on my lower back years before it was the "in" thing. Admittedly I had a good laugh and glad to see that it's a problem the world over, but at least it gives us some entertainment.

I'm glad you thought it was funny. I didn't want it to come across as insulting. I know a few girls with lower back tattoos and kid with them about it. It just seems to be an invitation to have people stare at your ass.

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About me

  • I'm Steve
  • From Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States
  • "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." P.J. O'Rourke
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